his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
