Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
