if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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