Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
