i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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