plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
