then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
