when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
