he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
