I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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