garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
