Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
