Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
