yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize