Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize