I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
