You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
