i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
