I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
