ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
