just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
