help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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