Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.

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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

Fav 11 2147 3461
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(631): View more from New York

the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

Fav 27 1085 4189
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(551): View more from New Jersey

the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

Fav 45 9428 1184
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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

Fav 25 3080 6024
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on

Fav 5 2570 1059
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

Fav 5 862 1734
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.

Fav 3 69 24
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(334): View more from Alabama

Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.

Fav 0 57 12
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