I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
