I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
