my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
