what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
