Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
