I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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