God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
