I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
