i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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