so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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