She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We got so high we made milksteak
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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