the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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