Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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