Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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