Yo dont text me then not text me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
