I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
