I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
