I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i would punch a child for taco bell
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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