it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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