I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
