i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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