If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
