So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
