why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize