your room smells of hookers.
And success
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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