Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what day is it and did you see me today?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
NoShamevember. You game?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
