okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
