Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
