You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
